November 21, 2002
running away
Someone must have told you that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Someone must have convinced you that there�s truth in that lie. But baby, I want you to know that there�s another way to look at this.
Absence makes people doubt things they once knew. Absence makes people vulnerable to the sweet smiles and tender words other utter to them on stormy nights. Absence makes the memories, the hopes seem like distant dreams.
And when those dreams are pushed away what's left is empty space. Empty space that's just waiting to be filled by someone new.
Because the longer you stay away the more I begin to question things like fate and destiny. The more I wonder whether the idea that we were meant to be is only a silly notion we concocted somewhere along the way.
So now I doubt. I doubt what I know you still believe and that doubt is growning more powerful everyday. Soon it'll consume me and there won't be anything left. Not for you. Not for the forever you seem to crave.
This silence is starting to hurt. It feels different and wrong. It screams out in silence and makes me unfocused and weak.
So I�m not going to wait for a dream. I�m not going to tell myself it�s meant to be and sit at home licking my wounds.
I'm holding my head up high, and I'm walking into the arms of the unknown, and I know you won't like it, and I know [hope] I won't care.
11:20 a.m.