March 10, 2003
filed away
I�m going to remember..
Going to a gun show in a little plaid skirt with big safety pins and combat boots. The man selling old coins/bills who talked to me and laughed with me and smiled. The older gentleman who knew so much about Nazi Germany I wanted to invite him out for dinner. The redneck girl who seemed so eager to befriend me. The tables full of weapons, books, accessories and Nazi memorabilia. The boys who thought it was cool/funny that a girl dragged them there.
Taking a long walk through a cave with a Russian tour guide who told funny stories, sang songs and talked incessantly of tequila. A cave full of so many unexplored recesses and mysterious holes I could spend years there and never grow bored. With a dusty, musty smell I sucked in like candy and enough strangers to make me feel like a tourist in my own town.
Sitting outside of Epic Caf� drinking bitter iced coffee and shivering. Refusing the leather and bomber jacket alike. Laughing and frowning while the boys made up emo songs about it.
Going to two different bars and drinking too much alcohol. Telling pointless stories but maintaining my composure enough to avoid doing a single foolish thing.
Running into an old friend and inviting him to join us for breakfast. Watching the boys eat. Listening to their stories. Not remembering 85% of what was said.
Leaving and returning only to find him standing outside waiting. Feeling my eyes widen and my heart jump into my throat in surprise. Seeing a smile covered his lips. Talking to him without looking at him and feeling ridiculous while realizing that his voice sounded soft and pleased and amused all at once.
[Note to you: I wouldn�t have done it if I was sober. Even if I wanted to. Normally I�m more timid and cautious than that. And you did scare the life out of me. But somehow - amazingly enough - I�m okay with that.]
[Note to everyone else: It�s not what you�re thinking. Not even close. ]
Talking and laughing and watching a silly movie. Explaining and invoking the 3 am rule. Falling asleep to the rising sun. Feeling so very cold despite the fact that I was wearing pants and a sweater. Despite the fact that I was under a sheet, a comforter and a blanket and should have been warm.
Memories are such pretty, uncomplicated things..
2:53 p.m.