June 16, 2002

Stigmata

My family is full of devout Roman Catholics, but despite being raised in the church, attending ccd classes and going to private catholic schools, I never quite believed in it. My mom says that when I was five years old I started interrogating every priest who came to dinner, questioning the existence of god and the validity of the bible. When I was seven years old I wrote her a note saying that I didn�t believe in the church and never would.. she saved it. To this day it rests in her bible, perhaps as a way of punishing herself for whatever she did wrong in raising me � which she firmly believes no matter how many times I tell her what a wonderful mother she has been/is.

How disappointing, especially to a woman who tried to have a baby for years and years, saw every specialist without results, then, after going and praying to a certain saint got miraculously pregnant a few days later. She named me for that saint, gave my life to her.. and I turned my back on those beliefs.

We�ve come to terms with our religious differences, my mother and I, but it was a long and painful process. But I�m getting away from myself, I meant only to explain that I am not now, nor ever have been Christian, this said, I�d like to talk about the stigmata, because a quarter of a million people gathered in St. Peter�s Square today to witness the canonization of Padre Pio of Pietrelcina, who is said to have suffered the wounds of the stigmata. Maybe you don�t care, and most likely you don�t believe in the stigmata.. but I do, strongly.

When I was sixteen my mom (who was a ccd teacher at the time) received a letter from the Diocese of Tucson informing parishioners of an upcoming conference which would include a speech by Georgio Bongiavani. The letter said that this man was a fraud and asked that parishioners not attend the seminar. Upon finding this letter I, of course, begged my mom to take me to see him.. and she did.

When I first saw him, making his way slowly to the front of the room I thought him a simple, humble sort of man.. he turned to face the gathered crowd and my attention was riveted to his forehead. There seemed to be some sort of design on it in dark red. I began to wonder if it was a tattoo, if he was just a new ager looking for fame.. and then I realized it was blood. He had blood encrusted on his forehead. I was fascinated. Later my mom and I got to speak to him a little, though our Italian is as bad as his English. We got to touch his hands and see his feet and I swear on everything I hold sacred that this man is no fraud. Perhaps it�s psychosomatic, I really don�t know, but what I do know is that he really does suffer the Passion of Christ.

He's given an open invitation, said that any medical person who wished to examine him could and to this day no one has been able to understand why he bleeds everyday, why it starts and stops on it�s own for no reason, why it smells of roses. I don�t know what else I can say about this.. what are your opinions on the stigmata? Anyone?

In other news: Tomorrow is the 30th anniversary of the Watergate burglary and the news stations are all busy interviewing members of Nixon's staff and reporters from The Washington Post. Everyone seems to be waiting with bated breath to see if the identity of Deep Throat will be revealed. Call me uncultured, but I don�t really care who Deep Throat is/was. I�ve only been awake two hours and I�m already sick of hearing about it. I watched it on Meet the Press then on Face the Nation.. now it�s on both CNN and the History Channel.. grrrr..

11:50 a.m.

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