September 30, 2002

star shapes

This weekend I had the apartment to myself.

I was able to light candles and incense and take extra long baths with the stereo up loud.

I danced around and around in a little black slip and drank pink lemonade.

Friday night Aspen came over with Chinese take-out and saki and TsingTao beer and we made saki bombers and stumbled to a nearby park to lay on a picnic table and make star shapes and give homage to The Lake Monster (I�ll tell the story of The Lake Monster here eventually).

I made him laugh and he played with my hair, and we fell asleep to black and white movies and it was truly a lovely day. He really is a doll. Much better than any romance, our friendship..

I got to forget for a day.. to feel miserable for another.. to go through a myriad of emotional that made me feel as manic as can be..

And today I realized what a luxury that was.. Not having to smile when I feel like screaming. Not wondering if people see my torn up fingertips. Not having to carry on a conversation with someone when all I want to do is..

And Aspen got me a going away present.. It should arrive a day or two before I leave.. I <3 him..

3:03 p.m.

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