December 22, 2002

not now, but soon.. that just isn�t cutting it anymore.

Tonight I realized just how isolated I am.

It�s been almost two months since I moved here and all I have to show for it is a new job, some rather interesting artistic accomplishments, and a stack of books I finally got around to reading.

It might sound like something, but really it�s not. I have some rather time consuming plans mapped out for my time here and I�ve been putting them off. Forgetting about the card and email with phone numbers of people I need to call.

And then there�s the studying I need to finish before the boy who is like Dash [I really must add him to my cast page sometime soon] and I go to the Freemason dinner in a few weeks.

I feel these things weighing on me, but I�m not lifting a finger to do anything about them. And there�s deadlines of sorts to think of.. And I haven�t even made up my mind whether I want to throw myself into these them or not [There really is no other way to do it. It has to be wholeheartedly done or left on the shelf to collect dust].

But by isolated I was referring to my social life. Because aside for my rather strange studious aspirations, I�ve come to realize that I really do want to make friends here. Have people I can call up when I want to be crazy and reckless and dance in the cemetery in the rain or jump the fence and wander around Aqua Caliente park at night.

And right now I don�t really have anyone. Or at least, not anyone other than Link, the boy who is like Dash , and the lesbian girl married to a military man [don�t ask].

{So I'm thinking of changing my layout, what do you guys think? Should I or shouldn't I?}

9:52 p.m.

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