September 16, 2002
touches as soft as wings
Right now I�m filled with exasperation. I feel like biting down on my bottom lip until the metallic taste of blood fills my mouth and a little pool forms on my desk calendar.
I feel like digging my nails into my arm and tracing all the veins with a razorblade.
I feel like jumping off a cliff and falling falling falling. No, not because I wish to die, but rather for the feeling of exhilaration that comes from the burst of adrenaline involved.
But since I can�t I�m writing and as usual, it�s helping. The symphony of words flowing from my bruised fingertips. Causing pain with every keystroke. Expressing emotions with every word. Helping ease the tension. Making the smile on my lips a little less plastic. Lovely, that.
3:14 p.m.