June 07, 2002
it always slips away
Anime called the other day and after talking things over we decided that this wouldn�t be the best weekend for me drive up to see him so my Vegas trip is canceled. He would say that it�s been postponed for two weeks, but I have a feeling canceled is more accurate. We�ve been drifting apart for a while now. I suppose it�s bound to happen when you�re dating someone in a different city. I never thought about it. He said it was one of his greatest fears. I think this trip was a last ditch effort to re-ignite a flame that has been slowly dying for months now. I realize this... does he?
Next time I drive up to Las Vegas it will be with a friend or two from here. We�ll stay in a hotel somewhere near the strip. We�ll go to the Double Down for drinks, Roma caf� for coffee, and maybe hit a goth club or two. We�ll visit Anime at work, or maybe go out to dinner and a bar with him� but it will be just as old friends and I�m okay with that. I wonder if he will be? Maybe seeing him will make all the difference. Maybe the spark will re-ignite and burn brighter than ever. Anything is possible. I won�t count on it though, or even hope for it. He�s been out of my life for a while now, it was just the ghost of a memory I had, and I won�t even miss him. That saddens me. Shouldn�t you miss people who were once important to you?
I�m still going away for the weekend though. After having planned on leaving town for a day or two, staying here would only leave me feeling miserable and depressed.
New Plan: Blue and I are going to go to Prescott for the weekend. His parents own a really nice cabin up there and being around clear blue water and lush green trees (opposed to the yellowish ones we have here) will do me a world of good.
11:38 a.m.