September 11, 2002
America is often called the Sleeping Giant..
A year ago today I remember waking up minutes before my alarm clock went off and focusing my blurry eyes on the television I�d left on the night before. I saw the first tower go down and thought it was a movie.. but it wasn�t..
As I got ready for work my eyes and ears were glued to the news..
I practically ran to my car and my shaking fingers fumbled with the radio knob, searching for a news station..
I drove to work as if in a dream surrounded by hundreds of other people doing the exact same thing. Feeling the exact same emotions.
When I got to the parking lot I must have sat there for half an hour just listening to the news because I forgot to walk inside.
And when I finally did there are no words to describe how it was. Everyone moving about in shock, gathered around the cubicles with radios, calling family long distance from their desks. Grown men crying because they couldn�t get through to family members in New York. Women shaking with worry over sons and daughters they felt would now die in war. A manager that left us because he was in the reserves and got the call..
I remember calling my mom and telling her I love her. Asking about the military men in our family..
I remember sitting at a bar that night with two boys watching CNN and talking about enlisting.
I remember staying up all night being held by a boy I�d just met and watching CNN into the early morning hours. Turning to a stranger that became a close friend for comfort and giving comfort in return.
And then it all started to fade away and life moved forth and the world kept turning. I lived my life and you lived yours and we all seemed to forget.. and I�m sure I�m not the only one who feels guilt about that right now, and I�m sure I�m not the only one who is surprised by the depth of the emotions that are surging through my body and the tears I�m holding back.
I was raised in a military family and I stand behind my country and have pride in it though I may forget at times. I�m not blind, I see all the flaws we have and the mistakes we make and harm we do. I know we�re not perfect but on a day like today that doesn�t matter so much.
I got on Diaryland this morning and read my words flowing from so many different fingertips. My emotions being voiced by strangers and I felt unity and consolidation. Maybe this doesn�t make sense to those of you who don�t live here. Maybe you resent us, and who am I to tell you what to think? But these feeling are real and knowing that so many share them is heartwarming and kinda amazing.
8:32 a.m.