September 22, 2002
and I never really knew
So I�m counting down the days, the hours, the minutes.. and it�s not with the happiness and relish I assumed it would be. It�s not with the word �finally� at the tip of my tongue but rather with the feeling of �It�s too soon. I�m not ready yet.� And you know, I�m not ready. Somehow this city has dug it�s claws into my heart and without even realizing it I�ve begun to think of it as home.
I�m going to miss the coffee shop we all hang out at. The knowledge that I can drive there anytime and find a table of boys I adore complete with laughter, good conversations, chai tea and smiles.
I�m going to miss the night clubs I used to haunt but now rarely visit. The way everyone smiles when they see me, and hug me and scold me for not coming out more often.
I�m going to miss going to certain restaurants and seeing the gleam of recognition in the employees eyes and the way they always seem to know what I want and ask me how I�ve been and offer me free drinks or dessert in exchange for coming back more often.
I�m going to miss the bartenders who make my drinks extra strong and give me extra cherries and say they�ve missed me when I don�t come around for a few weeks.
I�m going to miss my hairdresser who recognizes my voice over the phone and will stay late just to cut my hair, who gossips about her life and gives me discounts all the time.
I could go on and on with this list.. There are so many things I�m just starting to realize that I�m going to look back on with sorrow and nostalgia..
This past week has been full of boys I�m going to miss and things we always do and it was just so simple and lovely and nice.
4:25 p.m.