February 27, 2003

fragments

Me: If I said I wanted to run away..

Aspen: Yes?

Me: And live at the bottom of the ocean like a mermaid, or among the stars like gods. To live in the forest like a dryad, to find a way to disappear forever..

Aspen: I�d want to come along. Why not? It�s an adventure. And besides, this world would be pretty boring without you.

Me: Haha, your such a nerd.

Aspen: Because I carry a messenger bag or because I like emo?

Me: Because you�re a complete and utter doll.

Aspen: And you�re a dreamer. You just don�t let people see it much. You�re so stuck on your cute girl with walls of steel persona.

Me: There�s rain beating against my window. Like tears. If it wasn�t so cold - if I was a little more drunk, I�d go outside and dance naked. To be part of it for a while. To let go.

Aspen: Then you should.

Me: I�ll get sick.

Aspen: I�ll bring you tomato soup.

Me: Is it raining there? Are you busy tonight?

Aspen: I think I see where this is going

Me: Because you know me so well? Don�t play therapist tonight Thom, come dance with me.

Aspen: Are you going to dance naked?

Me: With you here? Hell no.

Aspen: I�ll come anyway.

Me: Aww, baby I love you to pieces.

Aspen: Right. Like there was any doubt in your mind I wouldn't come.

At one point last night, he picked me up at twirled me around and around until we fell. And he landed on top of me and pressed his cold lips to mine. And I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed back..

But it didn�t go anywhere because it never does.

I feel asleep in his arms like I sometimes do, and it was nice and safe but not sexual.

9:11 a.m.

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