July 28, 2002
financial cesspool
A little while ago I sat down and put everything I owe down on paper. I don�t think I�ve felt this disheartened in quite some time because financially speaking, I�m sinking and I don�t really have a rope to cling to. Even if my mom does sell the lot and pays off my car, I�ll still be fucked. What a horrible revelation.
I feel like selling everything I own. Taking my car, my cats, some clothes and a few items I can�t part with and driving down to South America. Living is cheap there. I can buy a little hut on the edge of the rainforest and live happily. Maybe I�ll marry someone in a drug cartel and come back to the states wealthy once he gets assassinated. Anyone up for a new life? We could make friends with all sorts of interesting animals. Dance in the rain. Forget about everything.. maybe even leave the razor behind. I think it sounds lovely..
But in all seriousness, I do need to come up with some plan to counteract my current situation. If I don�t eventually I�ll have to move back home and I couldn�t handle the feelings of failure associated with that. Whatever else, I�m going to try. Heaven help me I even feel a bit of motivation..
In other news, I joined clix expecting to never hit the top 250 diaries, but after a few days I'm currently number 5. Awww.. you all rock my little black Jack Skellington sock off. Really, you do. I need the adoration sometimes, it makes me realize that people don't just think I'm a pretty face. :)
9:20 a.m.