July 26, 2002
blood splatter on girl
Last night Dash and I ran into a few friends of mine at The Willow House and hung out with them until 2 a.m. It was so much fun..
Big John playing his flute..
Some random lesbian chick coming over and playing her digeriedo (sp?)..
Marcus and Dash getting all worked up talking about music..
Fritch and I having a continuous water/ice/paper/tickling fight..
Veggie sandwiches..
Teasing..
Too much coffee and diet coke..
Thor�s roommate showed up at the same Five N Dine we went to for breakfast. He came over to say hello and gave me a hug. It made my day. I�ve missed hanging out with him and I didn�t even really realize it until that moment. It was also nice because it was just about seeing him. No thought of my ex. No feeling about the past whatsoever. Positively lovely. I think I could see Thor now and feel nothing. Even see him with his tongue down another girl�s throat and feel indifferent. I repeat, positively lovely.
Quotable: "Carrying this flute around is bad. I just want to hit Marcus over the head with flute, blood splatter on girl. Mmmm kinda sexy." Smile.
"Good way to end an evening." Laughs all around.
"Um, actually it�s a good way to *start* an evening." Silence.
"I need to carry this flute around you more often!" Yes.
And then there�s today..
Today everything has finally started catching up with me. My throat hurts. My voice is hoarse and deeper than usual. Too many late nights. Too much time smoking or sitting around smokers. Too much coffee. Too much revelry and not enough sleep..
Dash is helping some punk band record tonight and I�m visiting my mom tomorrow so I won�t see him until Sunday afternoon. I think this will be good for us.
He was complaining about the two days without me, (even though he slept over last night so it�s technically just one day) saying he knows he�s going to miss me and that I probably won�t miss him at all. I shrugged and said maybe. I�m a total bitch. I know this. I couldn�t say anything else..
Looking into his eyes scares me sometimes.. what I see is always so honest and open and shining it almost hurts.. Goddess I need to shut up about this..
2:49 p.m.