June 18, 2002
shattered glass on bloody hands
It�s funny how you can convince yourself of something, believe it so strongly, only to have the illusion come crumbling down right before your eyes..
Does it make you feel weak when your determination goes flying out the window? I can now say from personal experience that it makes me feel weak, pathetic, inadequate, disappointed.. and yes, resigned.
Resigned because I finally understand that some things won�t change - at least not anytime soon.
Weak, pathetic, inadequate and disappointed because last night I was fully planning on tossing my resolution out the window and going with my impulses even though I know it�s the last thing in the world I should do, especially right now. What�s worse is that I�m still not sure what I�m going to do.
9:33 a.m.