May 31, 2002
who will be my band-aid now?
I�m feeling reckless and despondent, nothing good can come out of a combination like that. My mind keeps telling me that I should go out into the world, spend time with others, make friends, bond, have fun... but I have no desire to do so.
I�m truly horrible when it comes to people. I neglect everyone, avoiding even my nearest and dearest for months at a time, then I pick up new acquaintances, tire of them and drop them from my life without a second thought. The irony here lies in the fact that during these periods of seclusion I tend to get saddened by the fact that no one is around when I should be feeling grateful that everyone wants to be around me regardless of my periods of withdrawal.
I truly love those who stick around, bypass my defenses and become good friends of mine.
I wonder if Mason picked up the kitty?
I wonder if everything went okay?
I wonder how she�s doing?
Additional - 10:12 a.m.
Mason just called. He said he dropped the kitty off at the Humane Society. I hope she�s okay. He says she was so sweet and affectionate it broke his heart to do it and that he cried on the way over there. Also, they said they won�t disclose information on pets that are turned in. I hope she�s okay. I�m sad and worried and feel like crying. Oh, and I *love* Mason so much. He�s my star.
9:30 a.m.