February 06, 2003
Note to those of you who actually know me.
So it�s exactly one week until my birthday. And people keep asking me what I want to do/where I want to go/how they can make it a special day..
And every time you boys bring it up I change the subject. And every time you try to make plans to hang out and celebrate I give you vague replies.. But you keep doing it anyway. Somehow unaware that I would rather you just dropped it. I thought you all knew me a little better than that.. But since you don�t seem to I�ll say it here..
I don�t want to celebrate. I don�t want you to call. I don�t want you to visit. I don�t want you to bring it up at all. I just want to be by myself. To sleep and wallow and forget about the rest of the world. To remember just why I hate holidays and birthdays. To turn off the ringer and lock the door.
If that hurts your feelings, then I�m sorry.. but the fact that you don�t get this is exactly why I don�t want you [any of you] around.
12:50 p.m.