December 18, 2002
you know you�re Lost
I saw someone today.
Looked into eyes I haven�t seen in a while.
Was swept into memories I haven�t examined in years.
Of a boy and a girl dancing around and around hand in hand. In the cemetery. In the rain.
Of long walks in a national forest and sunglasses that fell off during cliff climbing excursions.
Off big rocks and breathtaking sunsets.
Of french fries and roses.
Of being dressed up as Scarlet O�Hara in pure white, sitting at a restaurant next to a boy dressed as Rett Butler in a white suit complete with a top hat and cane.
Of a conversation where he asked, �Are you sure you want to?� and I answered, �Yes.� Where he said it had to mean something and I replied, �It would mean everything.� Words that haunt me, forever entrenched in my memory.
Of a haunted look in his eyes and a steamy reunion years later.
Of driving home in tears at midnight and turning the radio on only to hear songs he�d just requested. Sad songs. His pain.
Of, �We just can�t be friends. It�ll never work. Not with our feeling and history. It has to be a relationship or nothing.�
Of being unsure and of him taking that as rejection.
Of nothing and nothing and nothing again.
It�s still nothing. Deep silence. It still hurts. Just not the same.
7:21 p.m.