April 07, 2003
It's flooding
And even though I hardly ever dream about people I actually know, it’s been happening a lot lately.
The image of Gabe‘s face staring at me from inches away making me wonder if he’s alright.
Vivid yet brief flashes of a night not too long ago that make me shiver and cringe and wonder.
Relatively meaningless and vastly important people from the distant and not so distant past.
And you.
I never told you that I had a dream about you.
One maybe two weeks ago.
In the dream you broke up with me. Told me that your interest had just faded away..
Maybe I never said anything because I thought it would make me sound insecure.
It does.
I’m not.
I feel more secure when it comes to you than I do about a lot of things. It’s a sort of gut instinct I’ve never really taken the time to dissect. But it’s there and it will be and that feeling has nothing to do with any sort of romantic involvement we may be exploring.
And I’m not going to lie and say that I think this is going to last. I don’t know if it will and it’s not really something I think about. Because for some reason, this time I’m comfortable just stepping back and letting things happen [or not happen] on their own.
And I guess that all these walls and all that baggage just won’t be an issue if any of this was meant to be.
8:49 p.m.