February 06, 2003
Note to those of you who actually know me.
So it’s exactly one week until my birthday. And people keep asking me what I want to do/where I want to go/how they can make it a special day..
And every time you boys bring it up I change the subject. And every time you try to make plans to hang out and celebrate I give you vague replies.. But you keep doing it anyway. Somehow unaware that I would rather you just dropped it. I thought you all knew me a little better than that.. But since you don’t seem to I’ll say it here..
I don’t want to celebrate. I don’t want you to call. I don’t want you to visit. I don’t want you to bring it up at all. I just want to be by myself. To sleep and wallow and forget about the rest of the world. To remember just why I hate holidays and birthdays. To turn off the ringer and lock the door.
If that hurts your feelings, then I’m sorry.. but the fact that you don’t get this is exactly why I don’t want you [any of you] around.
12:50 p.m.